My fur boy Biscuit was originally going to be a pet for Andy’s Mum and Dad. My mum and Andy picked him up on the 21st of February 2004 from a woman who had been given him for a birthday present but she didn’t want him. £375 he was. His name was Brek and he was a Cocker Spaniel (although she thought he was a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel). She was Polish and her boyfriend had bought him and named him for her but she just couldn’t get on with him.
When I was handed a little bundle of ginger fluff I fell in love straight away. He kissed my nose. His beautiful brown eyes, soft fur and cute little button nose melted my heart. That night he stayed in our room laying between us on the bed and was so well behaved for a 12 week old puppy I was astonished.
The next morning we travelled all the way to Andy’s Mum in Worcester. I held Biscuit all the way there as he loved to sit on my lap looking out the window, then climbing up to my shoulder falling asleep over it, then snoring in my ear. I felt loved. He walked on his lead, right by my leg, looking up at me all the time. He was so good. We stayed for a few hours, he played with Andy’s Dad and then we went home.
Leaving him at Andy’s Mum was horrible. I cried all the way home. I cried all that night. I didn’t want to leave him there. So Andy called his Mum up and told her how upset I was and she told him to come up with me to pick him back up again. I couldn’t get out the front door quick enough to do just that. Holding him again my heart burst with love. This little boy had won my heart and he wasn’t going to let go.
And we had an amazing life together. At the time we got him I was at my lowest ebb. My severe depression had hit rock bottom and life didn’t seem worthwhile. But as soon as I had Biscuit, my world changed. He bought the sunshine back into my life. He only had to look at me and my heart would lift. I never thought I would love a dog as much as I loved Biscuit but I did.
Biscuit went everywhere with me. He slept in my bed, he slept on my head, laid on the back of my neck when I sat down on the sofa, he was my constant companion. I’d get what we called Biscuit cuddles if I was in bed where he’d lay across my head and he’d wipe his eye jelly in his Dad’s goatee disguising it as a cuddle (but we knew what he was up to). He was my cheeky boy. My little banana boy as you’d say the word Banana and he’d tilt his head as if he knew what you were talking about. He also loved to eat bananas. Anything banana was his favourite. He was my Bubba Boo. Originally when we got him he’d bounce around like the Nesquik Bunny so got the nickname Nessy for a while but he didn’t care what we called him as long as we called him.
In 2013 he became unwell. He started drinking lots and his eyes would water constantly. We took him to the vet who couldn’t diagnose what it was herself so sent him to an amazing place called Dick White Referrals. They came back with a diagnosis. It wasn’t good. He had a cancer lump near his testicles and had liver nodules. Immediately they removed the cancer and the biopsy results were good – it wasn’t a spreading cancer and so they had removed it all. It was just the nodules we had to deal with.
Initially after his surgery he was doing really well. They put him on Samulin for his liver and said if we looked after him correctly he still had a good couple of years left in him. Thing is, a good couple of years is never enough when you love someone so much.
At the beginning of January 2015 he started drinking lots again. Natalie the vet that had helped us previously was still off on maternity leave so we asked the vet if they thought it would be serious enough to warrant an emergency appointment, they said that they didn’t think so and just to leave it until she came back. He then went back to drinking normally again so we thought nothing of it.
On the 25th January he stopped eating and was drinking loads and loads, resting his head on the water bowl in between drinks. I knew something was terribly wrong. So we rushed him up to the emergency vets. They took blood tests and said that they thought he had diabetes and to see our vets in the morning to confirm. 26th January we got an early appointment for him and he was really lethargic and floppy in my arms. The vet even after looking at the paperwork from the emergency vet diagnosed “Gastro”. They put him on a drip for fluids. That night he was slightly worse so had to be transferred to the emergency vets again. Andy broke his heart to see how quickly he had deteriorated. The emergency vet asked if they had given him anything for the diabetes but they hadn’t. Apparently the emergency vet couldn’t do anything as they hadn’t been asked by our regular vet so could only keep him on fluids.
He got worse. 11.12pm that night we got a phone call. Andy was to go to the vets as he didn’t think Biscuit would last the night. I broke my heart. As a diabetic I know for a fact Biscuit was suffering with high blood sugar and so a shot of insulin would have helped him. He had even had the diarrhea that us diabetics get if we’ve overindulged that smells really bad but even that wasn’t enough to alert them that it’s that which was making it worse for him. Our vets let us down. If they had attended to the high glucose that he had according to their results which I later received they might have saved him instead of constantly telling us he just has “Gastro”.
27th January at 1.23am We made the heart wrenching decision to have him euthanized. I have never ever done anything so soul destroying before. It felt like my whole world had shattered and fallen to pieces. My poor little baby wouldn’t be here anymore but I couldn’t let him suffer anymore. Why didn’t they treat him earlier. It was so obvious what he needed yet they let me down horrendously. People we trusted had ruined everything we had. If only he’d have been strong enough to see Natalie then he might still be here as she would have treated the diabetes immediately.
Even though it’s nearly a month later, I’m still in tears when I write about him. I still have his picture on my computer screen, and pictures of him all over the house. I can’t get my final cuddle with him out of my head as I cradled him and told him that he was such a good boy and how much mummy loved him. But Dick White Referrals were nearly right. They gave him 2 years and he nearly made it. It’s just left me with a Biscuit shaped gaping hole in my heart which will always be there forever more regardless.
I love you Bubba Boo Banana Boy, I always will. You will always have my heart but I have to let you go and run free over Rainbow Bridge and when we’re ready we’ll meet you again for baby cuddles. Always look over me and Daddy as you will never be far from our thoughts being always in our hearts.